Bloodrose

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  PART I - AIR

  ONE

  TWO

  THREE

  FOUR

  FIVE

  SIX

  SEVEN

  EIGHT

  PART II - WATER

  NINE

  TEN

  ELEVEN

  TWELVE

  THIRTEEN

  FOURTEEN

  FIFTEEN

  PART III - FIRE

  SIXTEEN

  SEVENTEEN

  EIGHTEEN

  NINETEEN

  TWENTY

  TWENTY-ONE

  TWENTY-TWO

  TWENTY-THREE

  TWENTY-FOUR

  TWENTY-FIVE

  TWENTY-SIX

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  TWENTY-NINE

  THIRTY

  THIRTY-ONE

  EPILOGUE

  Acknowledgements

  PHILOMEL BOOKS

  A division of Penguin Young Readers Group.

  Published by The Penguin Group. Penguin Group (USA) Inc.,

  375 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10014, U.S.A. Penguin Group (Canada),

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  (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.). Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand,

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  Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa. Penguin Books Ltd,

  Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England.

  Copyright © 2012 by Broken Foot Productions, Inc.

  Orion Constellation copyright © iStockphoto.com/peresanz. All rights reserved.

  This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without

  permission in writing from the publisher, Philomel Books, a division of Penguin

  Young Readers Group, 345 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10014.

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  Published simultaneously in Canada.

  Edited by Jill Santopolo. Interior book design, including the Lupus, Crux and Orion

  constellations by Amy Wu. Text set in 10.25-point Appoline Regular.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Cremer, Andrea R. Bloodrose : a Nightshade novel / Andrea Cremer. p. cm.

  Summary: Calla Tor, the alpha member of her shapeshifting wolf pack,

  must decide if her illicit love for the human Shay is worth the ultimate sacrifice.

  [1. Wolves—Fiction. 2. Love—Fiction. 3. Supernatural—Fiction.

  4. Shapeshifting—Fiction.] I. Title.

  PZ7.C86385Bl 2012 [Fic]—dc22 2010052004

  ISBN : 978-1-101-56035-8

  http://us.penguingroup.com

  For my parents

  I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.

  —Thomas Hobbes

  PART I

  AIR

  ONE

  I COULD HEAR each heavy beat of my heart. The sound seemed to ebb from my veins out of my body, traveling across the empty space between the shimmering portal and the dark house.

  He was there. I had no doubt. Though I couldn’t see him or even catch the slightest hint of his warm, smoky scent, I knew he was there. Waiting for me. But why? Why would Ren come to this lonely place?

  My gaze traveled over the shadows that twisted as clouds slid over the moon, reminding me too much of wraiths. I stared at the sky so I didn’t have to look at the houses, or the skeletal frames of those left unfinished. Time had been frozen here. The mountain slope, cleared of trees to make way for a cul-de-sac and ring of houses, whispered of a past unreachable. The sprawling Haldis Compound—or what would have become the Haldis Compound—lay before me, composed of luxury homes built exclusively for the pack Ren and I would have led together. Our pack’s den. Our home.

  I turned to face Adne, trying to hide my shivering. “Stay out of sight. You’ll hear me if there’s a problem, and if I come running, you’d better open a door fast. No matter what, don’t come looking for me.”

  “Deal,” she said, already backing toward the forest. “Thank you, Calla.”

  I nodded before I shifted into wolf form. Adne melted into shadows. When I was satisfied that no one would be able to detect her, I began to stalk toward the house. Its windows were dark, the structure silent. For all appearances it looked empty, but I knew it wasn’t.

  I kept my muzzle low, testing the air. We’d arrived upwind from the compound, which left me feeling vulnerable. I wouldn’t be able to pick up the scent of anyone hidden by night’s veil until I was almost on top of them. My ears flicked back and forth, alert, listening for any sign of life. There was nothing. No rabbits dashing for cover under brush, nor did nocturnal birds flit through the sky. This place wasn’t just abandoned; it felt cursed, as if nothing dared tread within the boundaries of the clearing.

  I picked up my pace, covering the distance to the house, leaping over snowdrifts, my nails scraping on rivers of ice that had frozen on the pavement. When I reached the front steps, I stopped to sniff the ground. My eyes followed fresh paw prints that became boot tracks, climbing the steps. Ren’s scent was sharp, new. He’d arrived only slightly before we had. I slowly moved up to the porch, shifting forms to open the screen door. I carefully turned the doorknob. The house wasn’t locked. I let the door swing open. It made a slight creak but nothing else. I slipped inside, closing the door and turning the dead bolt. If someone did come after me, I wanted warning of their arrival.

  I shifted back into wolf form, moving through the front hall, tracing Ren’s scent to the main staircase. I tried not to cringe as I passed the entrance to the dining room. A beautiful oak table, probably antique, was surrounded by chairs. Four on each side, one at the head and one at the foot. Ten. It was too easy to imagine meals there. Our pack together, laughing, teasing, belonging.

  I climbed the stairs slowly, wishing my nails weren’t clicking on the hardwood. When I reached the second floor, I paused, listening. The house only answered with silence. Still trailing Ren’s path through the house, I passed three bedrooms and a bathroom, until I reached the door at the end of the hallway. My heart slammed against my rib cage as I entered the master suite.

  Only a few steps in, I stopped. Wisps of moonlight curled through the room, illuminating the stately bed, piled with satin pillows, draped in jacquard linens, boasting tall ebony posts at each corner. Matching armoires sat against one wall. On the adjoining wall, a mirrored vanity and settee faced the bed.

  Ren’s scent was everywhere. The smoke of aged
wood lingering beneath a chilled autumn sky, the smooth burn of well-worn leather, the seductive ribbon of sandalwood. I closed my eyes, letting his scent pour over me, filling me with memories. It was a moment before I could shake my ruff, sending the past scurrying as I tried to focus on the present.

  The light from outside filtered in through tall bay windows with a seat nestled beneath them. Curled beneath the windows, partly cloaked by shadow, was Ren. He was lying very still, head resting on his paws. And he was staring at me.

  We stayed like that, frozen, watching each other, for what felt like an eternity. Finally I forced myself to take a step forward. His head snapped up, hackles rising. I heard his low, threatening growl. I paused, fighting off my instinct to snarl at him.

  He stood up, still growling, and began to pace back and forth below the window. I took another step forward. His fangs flashed as he barked a warning. I dipped my head, not wanting to give any sign of aggression. It didn’t matter.

  Ren’s muscles bunched and he lunged at me, knocking me onto my side. I yelped as we slid across the wood floor. His jaws snapped just above my shoulder as I rolled away. I scrambled to my feet, dodging when he lunged again. I felt the heat of his breath and his fangs brushing against my flank. I whirled, snarling, and faced him, bracing myself for his next attack. When he struck for the third time, but his teeth didn’t cut my flesh, I realized what was happening. Ren didn’t want to attack me. He was only trying to scare me off.

  Squaring my shoulders, I barked at him. Stop!

  I met his dark eyes, which were on fire.

  Why won’t you fight me? He bared his teeth.

  I tracked him, turning in a slow circle as he stalked around me. I didn’t come here to fight.

  This time when he lunged, I didn’t move. His muzzle was inches from mine, and he snarled, but I didn’t flinch.

  You shouldn’t be here if you aren’t ready to fight.

  I’m always ready to fight. I showed him my own teeth. But that doesn’t mean I want to.

  His rumbling growl slowly faded. He lowered his head, turning away from me and walking back to the window, where he stared up at the sky.

  You shouldn’t be here.

  I know. I padded toward him. Neither should you.

  When he turned to face me, I shifted into human form.

  The charcoal wolf blinked and then Ren was standing in front of me, gazing down at my face.

  “Why are you here?”

  “I could ask you the same thing,” I said, biting my lip. The fact that he whiled away the hours in an empty house built for us was not the reason I’d come here. But it was hard to push those thoughts away. Standing in this room, on this mountain, in this house, everything felt like it was about us. I could barely remember the outside world. The Searchers. The war.

  His eyes flashed, but then went hollow.

  “It’s a good place to be alone.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. The words felt like ice in my throat.

  “For what, exactly?” His smile was razor sharp, and I cringed.

  “Everything.” I couldn’t look at him, so I walked through the room, staring at nothing in particular, moving past furniture with empty drawers. A bed no one would sleep in.

  “Everything,” he repeated.

  I was across the room, standing on the other side of the bed, when I turned around, staring at him.

  “Ren, I came to help you. It doesn’t have to be like this.”

  “Doesn’t it?”

  “You don’t have to stay here.”

  “Why would I leave?” he said. “This is my home.” His fingers grazed the satin surface of the bed linens. “Our home.”

  “No, it’s not.” I gripped one of the bedposts. “We didn’t choose this; it was chosen for us.”

  “You didn’t choose this.” He walked to the other side of the bed. “I thought we would have had a good life here.”

  “Maybe.” My nails dug into the wood varnish. “But it wasn’t really a choice. Even if it might have been good.”

  “You never wanted it. Did you?” His fists were clenched at his sides.

  “I don’t know,” I said. My heart was beating too fast. “I never asked myself what I wanted.”

  “Then why did you run?”

  “You know why,” I said softly.

  “For him,” he snarled, grabbing a pillow and hurling it across the room. I stepped back, forcing my voice to remain calm.

  “It’s not that simple,” I said. The moment he mentioned Shay, something inside me stirred. I still felt sad, but stronger. Shay hadn’t just changed the path of my life. He’d changed me. No, not changed. He’d helped me fight for my true self. Now it was my turn to help Ren do the same.

  “Isn’t it?” He glared at me.

  “Would you have been able to kill him?” I asked, holding Ren’s gaze. “Is that how you wanted to start a life with me?”

  Part of me didn’t want to know the answer. Could he really want Shay dead? If I was wrong about Ren, coming here was a terrible mistake. We would fight and I would have to kill him. Or he would kill me.

  He bared sharp canines at me, but then he sighed. “Of course not.”

  I slowly moved around the bed. “That’s the only life they would have offered us. Killing the people who need to be helped.”

  He watched me approach, remaining stone still.

  “The Keepers are the enemy, Ren,” I said. “We’ve been fighting on the wrong side of this war.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “I know the Searchers now,” I said. “I trust them. They helped me rescue our pack.”

  His smile was harsh. “Some of it.”

  “The others made their choice.”

  “And I didn’t?” His eyes were obsidian dark, angry. But I didn’t think his rage was directed at me.

  When I closed my eyes briefly, unable to take in the torrent of regret that flooded Ren’s stare, I was back in Vail, in a cell deep beneath Eden. I remembered the desperation in Ren’s voice, the fear in my own.

  “They said I have to.”

  “Have to what?”

  “Break you.”

  I shuddered as the memory of slamming into the wall and tasting blood in my mouth rushed over me. Forcing myself back into the room, I caught Ren’s slightly sick expression and I knew his mind had been in the same place.

  I swallowed, clasping my hands so they wouldn’t shake. “I hope you didn’t.”

  He didn’t answer, but gazed at me.

  “I don’t believe you wanted to hurt me,” I said. “And I don’t think you would have, even if Monroe hadn’t—”

  My words dried up in my throat. It was true, but that didn’t take away the memory. The horror of those moments had been etched on my bones.

  “I wouldn’t have,” Ren whispered.

  I nodded, though I wasn’t sure I believed it. What mattered now was getting him out of here and away from the world that twisted him into someone who could hurt me. He started to lift his hand, as if to touch my cheek, but then let it drop back to his side.

  “Did the Searchers send you to find me?”

  “Sort of.”

  His brow shot up.

  “Monroe wanted to find you,” I said.

  Ren’s jaw tightened. “The man my—the man Emile killed.”

  I noticed the way he’d stopped himself. He didn’t want to call Emile his father.

  “Ren.” I reached out, taking his hand. “Do you know?”

  His fingers gripped mine. “Is it true? Did Emile kill my mother?”

  I nodded, feeling tears slip from my eyes.

  He pulled his hand away, fisting his fingers in his dark hair, pressing his temples. His shoulders began to shake.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “That man.” Ren’s voice cracked. “That man, Monroe. He’s my real father, isn’t he?”

  I watched him, wondering how he’d put it all together. “How did you know?”

  No
t much time had passed between the fight in Eden’s depths and this strained moment where I stood looking at Ren. I’d known him since we were both pups, but I felt like in the last twenty-four hours, we’d aged decades.

  Emile began to laugh. Ren still crouched between his father and the Searcher, his charcoal eyes blazing as he watched Monroe lower his swords.

  “I won’t hurt the boy,” Monroe said. “You know that.”

  “I guessed it,” Emile said, eyes flicking to the snarling young wolves. “Make sure he doesn’t escape. It’s time for Ren to avenge his mother.”

  “Ren, don’t! He’s lying. It’s all lies!” I shrieked. “Come with us!”

  “She’s not one of us any longer,” Emile hissed. “Think of how she’s treated you, how she turned her back on all of us. Taste the air, boy. She stinks of the Searchers. She’s a traitor and a whore.”

  He glared at me and I stumbled back at the livid fire in his eyes. “Don’t worry, pretty girl. Your day is coming. Sooner than you think.”

  I jerked sideways when Connor grabbed my arm and tugged hard. He pulled me toward the unguarded door.

  “We can’t leave him!” I shouted.

  “We have to.” Connor stumbled into me as I fought to free myself but quickly regained his balance, locking his arms around me.

  “Let me fight!” I struggled, desperate to go back but not wanting to hurt the Searcher who was dragging me away.

  “No!” Connor’s face was like stone. “You heard him. We’re gone. And if you go wolf on me, I swear I’ll knock you out!”

  “Please.” My eyes burned when I saw Ren’s fangs gleam and my breath stopped when Monroe dropped his swords.

  “What is he doing?” I cried, dodging when Connor tried to grab me again.

  “This is his fight now,” he said through clenched teeth. “Not ours.”

  Ren jumped back as the swords clanged on the ground in front of him. Though his hackles were still raised, his growl died.

  “Listen to me, Ren,” Monroe said, crouching to meet Ren at eye level, not looking at the other two wolves bearing down on him with cruel slowness. “You still have a choice. Come with me and know who you really are. Leave all this behind.”